Soul Friendship

From the Irish: Anam Cara


Anam Cara in Irish means: 'soul friend.' We all need one.

What do ‘soul friendship’ relationships depend upon? — They depend upon how much each person in the relationship is willing to stretch and grow. These friendships require us to call upon those parts of ourselves that are usually less accessible when relating to usual same-sex friends. For a man, a woman who is just a friend allows him to express his more emotional side, to experience his vulnerability, to treat himself and his friend more tenderly than is permissible with male friends.

Soul friends share the same view of reality. They not only affirm one another but also challenge when necessary. Though difficult in any intimate relationship, without challenging each other, the friendship will be hindered, stunted, superficial and and eventually lost. Affectin and depth are part of anam chara, for they share what the ancients saw as 'one soul in two bodies, two hearts united as one."

Age and gender does not enter into the equation for soul friend relationships are  based on mutuality, a respect for the wisdom of the other and an appreciation of the blessing that each brings to the other.

Such friendship is centred on God, the Lover of our Souls as revealed by our Lord. Each friend is rooted first in God if they are to share in mutual blessing and care.

There are no geographic boundaries or barriers of distance, or of time's passing, or death itself. Even in separation there is a never-forgetting of the blessing each has been to the other.


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